God's Wisdom: Peer Pressure
Sermon Review
22 June 2003
(Gen 2:18-25)

Introduction:
Getting in with the wrong crowd is really easy, or at least it was for me. I didn't have to work hard to be able to do it wherever I went. Primary School is a good example. I managed to rack up the most cuts in year 6, to the envy of my peers. One of my best friends was a little criminal well on his way to being a big criminal. We spent many hours together thieving milk money, shoplifting toys and lollies, graduating to house breaking, particularly while in high school. At 14 I was smoking regularly because I wanted to look cool to my mates, and by 15 drunk reasonably often, especially on Saturday nights - the thing that it seemed that all young teenagers worth anything did. It was no wonder that even before I was 16 I was in deep trouble. Having left home I was regularly drunk, and doing stupid things, to 'have fun', and to impress others around me. It was only upon later reflection that I realised just how much of my lifestyle was to look good to my peers, to be accepted by them, and perhaps even looked up to. This passage from Proverbs has special significance for me for I remember deliberately pressuring two people into doing something they should not have done. I persuaded them to join with myself and one other mate to break into a hotel in Alice Springs. I did this by telling them what fun they would have, and what we might be able to steal, all the time insinuating that they were wimps and cowards if they didn't come. Eventually they made one of the worst decisions of their life - they agreed. A few days later all 4 of us were in the Alice Springs lock up, and a few days after that we were all in the Alice Springs 'Big House'; the prison. Of the two I talked into busting the hotel, one did 3 months and was finally released on a 12 month good behaviour bond under his parents authority. The other did 6 months altogether in the Alice Springs prison. I did 3 months, some of which was in solitary, and was released not long before my 17th. birthday.

Now my story could be retold over and over again, with various twists and endings. It's not so unique or unusual. Versions may include drunken episodes, or unwanted pregnancies or std's, or perhaps drug addictions, violence, or crime. The one thing they would all have in common with mine though, is that giving into the wrong type of peer pressure, or trying to play up to ones peers, can lead to devastating conclusions.

Proverbs 1:8-19: This passage in Proverbs puts it quite bluntly. Those who give into the wrong kind of peer pressure are more stupid than birds who have the sense to recognize when they are being enticed into a trap. When the writer says, 'These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves.', never has a more profound word been said. Beware of being driven by a desire for the acceptance or esteem of your peers to the point that you ignore common sense or put God on the back burner. To put it in the best light, be assured that 'peer-pressure-road' is littered with ruined lives, wasted opportunities, and deep spiritual emptiness.

Backtracking
Just to backtrack a little. There are many moulding forces in any society - ours is no different. The term socialisation, that process of being moulded and shaped by our society, has become a part of common language. The early years of our life are called our formative years, for good reason. It is because they are the years during which we are most susceptible to being formed and shaped into who we are and what we will become. Peer pressure is just one of the many social forces that influence and shape us, others include the electronic media, particularly TV, magazines, movies, music, school, family etc. The word 'Peer' comes from the Latin 'par' meaning equal. Your peers are therefore those whom you see as equals, or those whom you want to see you as their equal. So peers can be friends or strangers. However, for the most part, the most powerful peers will be those who are your friends, or alternatively, those whom you want to be your friend so you can be treated as an equal or above, by them. Therefore our peers are potentially powerful in our lives because we all naturally desire acceptance, esteem, respect etc. This is something that remains with us for life.

Consequently, peer pressure is not only a problem when we are young. The important thing to remember is that it is when this desire for acceptance etc. is out of control, that it can lead to lying about achievements, or motivate stupid and sometimes dishonest things, unnecessary risk-taking etc. I have seen adults act like children in their desire to be accepted by their peers. I am not sure than anyone is totally immune to it. In religious circles it can manifest itself in wanting to be noticed as spiritual, or humble, or knowing the Scriptures well, or being able to quote innumerable verses. When Ministers get together it can prompt brag sessions about how many converts they have had recently in their church, or what new ministries they have initiated.

With many others, both inside and outside the church, it can be the need to keep up with the 'Joneses', or even prompt pride that stops a person owning up to failures in front of their peers or would-be peers. Just this week I heard of a couple in Manchester England who had lost their high-flying executive jobs and could not face letting their family and friends know, so the husband would drive his wife to Liverpool so she could work as a prostitute, and return the next morning to pick her up. Somehow they managed to keep this a secret and live a lie. Beware of letting the need to be accepted as an equal or better by others get out of control in your life - it is a curse to be redeemed from. And remember it can be a life long problem - your age does not matter! Keep in mind Prov.12:26, 'A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray'; 1Cor.15:33, 'Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character'; Rom.12:1,2, 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind' etc.

Simply put, allowing peer pressure to influence us to do wrong, or to walk away from God is stupid. It is also a sinful distortion of the healthy positive role that God no doubt intends that peer pressure should play in our lives.

The Positive Power of Peer Pressure
You see, all peer pressure is not bad. Being susceptible to peer pressure can actually be a good thing. Being part of a Christian Community includes being caught up in formative processes eg. Heb.10:24,25. That is, 'stirring up one another to love and good works', 'to encourage one another'. Or Col.3:15,16 which exhorts us as one body 'to teach and admonish one another' etc. One of the great things about Christian fellowship is the influence that it is intended to have on our own Christian life, and our Christian life is to have on others. As we are all equally saved by grace and inhabited by the Holy Spirit, generally speaking we are all one another's peers. We all have the chance of speaking into others lives, and having our own lives spoken into as well. Additionally, in any community of believers, we connect with others of our same ages and similar backgrounds or interests. They become our particular peers whom we can equally receive positive peer influence from, and in turn exert positive peer pressure on. Being part of a youth group is actually intended to provide opportunity for positive peer pressure to operate.

Being open to the power of peers is not all negative. In the right situation it can be extremely helpful. In fact I am sure that this kind of dynamic occurred between the 12 disciples. Think of the conversations that probably took place when picking the grain and eating it on the Sabbath took place Lk.6:1-5. 'Are you sure we should do this?' 'Jesus said we could' 'But what about the Pharisees say if they saw us?' Don't worry, Jesus will sort it out.' Such conversations no doubt helped each disciple to both influence and be influenced by their disciple-peers. Think of the reinforcement that would have taken place through their amazed questioning of each other after Jesus stilled the storm. 'In fear and amazement they asked one another, who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him' Lk.8:25 Or the influential power of the12 reporting together to Jesus after their first missionary-preaching assignment Lk.9:10. Walking from one place to another for three years not only allowed the disciples to be taught by Jesus, but to experience and practice positive peer pressure.

Because Jesus had no human peers, it is difficult to evaluate the role of peer influence in his life. Perhaps though, it could be argued that God the Father was Jesus only peer. If that is acceptable, Jesus was certainly more than open to his father's influence and direction eg. John5:19-20. Even Paul, the most probable candidate for independence and the rejection of peer influence, submitted his teaching to his peers, the Apostles in Jerusalem Gal.2:1,2,7-10, something motivated by God in the first place! Wanting to be accepted as an equal or better by others is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact I would argue that it is quite natural. It is a part of being human and can be used positively by God. However, like in the case of my life, out of control it can also become a highly destructive force.

Conclusion:
While surfing on the net I discovered the Vic. Peer Support Foundation that has been set up to help students resist the bad side of peer pressure, and benefit from the good side of it. There are various programmes to help this happen eg. buddy systems, peer accountability groups etc. Because peer pressure is a reality, the wise person will bounce between being open to positive pressure by their peers, closed to negative influence, and work at themselves being a source of positive pressure upon their peers. If some of my peers had spoken up more often against my crazy behaviour in my early teens, I and others may have been saved from much heartache. My advice is to fellowship regularly with Christians, make good Christian friends, be open to positive peer pressure, and be a helpful source of it for them. Peer power is 'powerful' - use it wisely and you and others can benefit from it abundantly!

Blessings

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