Accepting Yourself
Sermon Review
05 November 2000
Reading - Romans 12:3
Last week I spoke about the importance of being real being authentic; that the Christian life begins with self-honesty in the form of repentance continues on in baptism, setting the ongoing pattern for discipleship. We confronted how:
- not being real thwarts Gods attempts to work in the Christians life
- it makes it impossible to fulfil the great commandment: love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength
- it emotionally distances us from God, keeping us from significant healing encounters with God and knowing the joy of being ourselves.
Today I would encourage you to think about your own self-acceptance, so that you can continue on the journey into authenticity and ultimately emotional & spiritual healthiness.
How do you generally feel about yourself? How positive or how negative do you view yourself? The truth is that perhaps all of us find aspects about our personality, looks, voice, appearance, intelligence, performance or competence that we dislike, whether a little or a lot. It seems that as we grow up most, if not all, participate in a common practice of finding ways to conceal those parts of ourselves we do not like. Ultimately, this results in phoniness. As one psychologists has put it, "To make up for our perceived short-comings, we hide behind false faces and feel like hypocrites. As we go through childhood we learn ways to defend ourselves against perceived personal weaknesses. Since we dont want to be hurt by the rejection of others, we withdraw and build shells of self-concealment." Arch Hart. p97 Unlocking the Mystery of Your Emotions Nothing new there: e.g. Adam & Eve
The Beginning
We are loved absolutely
1John.3:1 How great is the love the father has lavished on us part of his family
1John.4:9,10 This is how God showed his loveGod has made a statement once and for all. Life will challenge this e.g. Rom.8:35,36 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
To come to accept Gods love & acceptance of us at a deep level in our lives is to transform our acceptance of ourselves. It can transform a persons life & provide a new sense of being highly valued by somebody else something we all need, and by the most significant other! If you really believe that God loves you unconditionally, you cannot remain unmoved it must revolutionise your life, make you "real".
We are completely forgiven through faith in Jesus Christ
Matt.26:28 blood of covenant for forgiveness of sin
Lk.24:46 repentance and forgiveness of sins preached in his name
Acts.10:43 everyone who believe in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name
Eph.1:7 In him we have redemption and forgiveness of sinsMoving On
The problem is that, though this is correct, on a practical level it does not work quite as well as one would like. Why not?
- Most people struggle with an inability to really believe Gods supreme love & acceptance through Christ
- For most the experience of being valued by God comes at a time when our patterns of thinking and feeling have been well established
- We dont like to change.
- Change takes both time and some pain, neither of which we like.
What Can We Do?
The quick answer is faith 1John.5:4. Faith in Gods love and acceptance combined with truth about ourselves. Rom.12:3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith that God has given you. it actually deals with conceit, but is still applicable here. It is truth that sets us free, not lies.
- Ps.51:6 "Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place".
- John.8:31:32 "Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.""
Where we deviate from truth about ourselves, we will fail. It is precisely here that the Self-Esteem Movement has failed. In America during the last 20 years an incredible range of both social and educational self esteem movements have been initiated in order to make people less dysfunctional, more self-accepting, and more positive and healthy in their attitudes and actions. However, disillusionment has been growing as these movements have not been successful. The key reason is that they have been based too much on rose-coloured views of life and oneself these views have not included the harsher truths about life and people. The American Psychological Association recently published a book entitled Self Esteem and Success The Paradox, to correct such misconceptions. In it they outline 4 realities:
- Everyone should expect to receive regular amounts of negative feedback, most of which is probably valid.
- Most people will receive substantial amounts of valid favourable feedback, yet not believe it.
- All people engage in self-evaluation and need a healthy evaluation process i.e., one that can take in failure and harsh realities.
- All people need to learn to be self-encouraging and not dependent upon external affirmations only.
We all need the love and acceptance of God in order to face the truth about ourselves. And both God and us need to work with fact and not fiction so we can grow as people in the ability to love him and others, and enjoy being ourselves. Faith in the unchangeable realities of God enables us to be realistic & truthful. Such realism does not mean that we like all that we find. But we must accept what we find; otherwise we are working with fiction and not fact. It is truth that sets free, not tissues of lies.
Through Christ, God accepts all are you going to go on rejecting yourself? God has provided the greatest proof of that love and acceptance are you willing to grieve Him by disbelieving it and running from what you dont like about yourself? Being "real" requires that we accept ourselves as God has and does. Growing in Christ requires growing inside. You cannot grow as a Christian without growing as a person. But dont dismay, God does not reveal all about ourselves to ourselves in one moment, but slowly, gently, and lovingly and not destructively. It is humbling, softening and humanising. Why? Because what he shows us about ourselves is not all bad. He helps us to see our strengths, talents, and abilities. He shows us marvellous things about being made in Gods image. He exposes the lies about ourselves that we have lived with and embrace to our chests as if they are friends and lovers friends and lovers that betray and poison our minds and hearts, that destroy us from within with a smile and traitorous intent.
Spend some time thanking God that he loves and accepts you, and asking him to help you accept yourself more than you ever have before. Use your faith this morning to revolutionise your life.
Blessings